A crisis is something we will all have to deal with one day, for us that crisis was cancer in my husband. Being ready for that crisis is something you really can never prepare for. When crisis strikes how will you handle it? I know how I handled it, and I want to share my experience with you, maybe you just need to know you’re not alone.
At the time of my husband’s diagnosis life was good, we were happy, had three kids, no worries, but then that all changed in one minute with the word cancer. We were totally not expecting to walk into that doctor’s office and hear those words. Complete shock set in, literally. We had our one year old daughter in the office with us that day, and she reminded us to keep it together. Keeping it together, that is the first step in dealing with a crisis.
R-CHOP Chemo Round #2
Keep It Together
Keeping it together, this is not easy. It will take more strength than you ever thought your body or mind could have. Yes we were confused, yes we were emotionally a wreck, yes we needed answers, but we couldn’t ask those critical questions, and gain critical knowledge if we couldn’t keep it together.
So what does keeping it together look like? To us that meant looking into each others eye’s, telling each other we will get through this, doing the next right thing, it’s almost like being in auto pilot mode. You have to be strong. Is it easy? No. You will feel like you are going to vomit, or you do vomit, your mind will race to every conclusion there is, you will shake uncontrollably, you wont remember details, your body will get hot and you will feel like you want to jump or crawl out of your skin, you will be in shock. It’s in that moment you tell yourself “keep it together”.
Why?
It is in those defining moments you learn who you truly are and what you are made of, you find your inner strength. There are other people in your life that depend on you, for me that was my husband and children. They needed a wife and mom that could weather this storm, encourage them on this journey, and show them what strength is.
God was my strength, I found my strength in Him, and they needed to see it. I believe that where they were weak I was strong, and where I was weak they were strong. It is a supernatural strength that can only come from God that will carry you through crisis. So, who will you be when crisis strikes?
Do Not Google Your Crisis
The next way to handle a crisis is by reading or researching “just enough” information. DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR CRISIS! Yes that is in all caps for a reason. Google is not your God, doctor, pastor, life coach, counselor, psychologist. You will find every crisis on Google points back to some devistating outcome and will be the most extreme for most situations. Please consult your expert in your crisis for rock solid information, and if you can’t depend on that expert you find another one until you do. You search for the answers you need until you get them, don’t except mediocre, find the best.
Find a Support System
Find a support system. This is something I didn’t do well. Looking back I wish I would have reached out to more people during our crisis. A support system can be a bunch of different things: family, close friends, church groups, support groups, organizations for your particular situation, someone who has went through your type of crisis, and many more. I have found that people want to help you during a time of crisis, but they don’t know how to help, or they are afraid of interfering. They simply do not know what you need. That means you need to reach out and let people know your exact needs, they want to help!
In our time of crisis I thought I had to be strong for EVERYBODY, so I didn’t reach out. People would ask if we needed anything and my answer was ” we’re okay”, I really wish I was just vulnerable and excepted the help. Many ways people help are through meals, sitting with you, talking things/decisions through, letting you cry without explanation, babysitting, praying for you, monetary, and more. I had a friend that gave us some money for whatever we needed, we chose to go on a date with that money. It was simple yes, but very much needed. We needed time to just get away and not think about anything. That is something I will never forget. *Wink Darla
Pray
But the first thing you do in a crisis is pray. Pray. You may not have the words. You may not have the right mindset, but who says God wants prayer to be a certain way. You pray in the shower, cry in the shower. You pray at the doctors office. Pray during the doctor visit. Pray constant. Praying is the only way you keep your eyes on God above ,and search Him for your answers, trust Him with your life, and follow Him during this journey. I would not want to be in a crisis without Him. He is our Healer, our Redeemer, our Confidant. He knows how everything will end, He loves us through the crisis, and will there the whole time.
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
What will you do when crisis hits home with you? Hopefully you stand strong, ask the right questions, ask for help, pray, and trust God through it all.
The day we found out he was cancer free!